bendeda

" Just be careful everyone, people are going crazy from being in isolation! Actually, I've just been talking about this with the microwave and toaster while drinking coffee and all of us agreed that things are getting bad. I didn't mention anything to the washing machine as she puts a different spin on everything. Certainly not to the fridge as he is acting cold and distant. In the end the iron calmed me down as she said everything will be fine, no situation is too pressing. The vacuum was very unsympathetic... told me to just suck it up, but the fan was more optimistic and hoped it would all soon blow over! The toilet looked a bit flushed when I asked its opinion and it didn't say anything, but the door knob told me to get a grip. The front door said I was unhinged and so the curtains told me to... ... yes, you guessed it, pull myself together!" UNSUBSCRIBE

" A little boy wanted a bicycle for Christmas. His mother said she didn't have enough money to buy him a new bike but suggested that if he wrote to Jesus promising to be a good boy in the future, then maybe Jesus might be willing to get him one. So the boy started writing out a letter. 'Dear Jesus, I promise to be good for one year...' He then crossed it out and wrote: 'Dear Jesus, I promise to be good for one month.' Still he wasn't happy, so he crossed it out and wrote: 'Dear Jesus, I promise to be good for one week.' His head in a spin, he tore up the paper and went for a walk. As he passed the local church, he noticed a nativity scene. When nobody was looking, he grabbed the figure of Mary, hid it under his coat and ran home. There he composed a new letter. 'Dear Jesus, if you ever want to see your mother again...'" UNSUBSCRIBE

" A Drunk Man Sits By A Duck Pond. The drunk man thinks to himself, "I'd like to have a duck for my dinner." So the man grabs a massive stick, and plonks a baby duck that was sitting on the edge with it! He grabs up the little duckling and begins to pluck all of its feathers out. Suddenly, a park ranger comes along so the man quickly throws the duck back into the water. The park ranger says, "Were you trying to steal a duck? There's a bald duck in the water." "No sir," says the drunk man. "I was just sitting here talking to the ducks!" The park ranger said," Well then, how do you explain all the feathers around you, eh?" The drunk man says," Well, the little duckie said he wanted to go for a swim, so I said of course, I'll mind your clothes for you!"" UNSUBSCRIBE